Relationship Hacks Do and Don'ts in Relationship

 There are many relationship hacks, relationship tips flying around. It's wise to be careful what you take in. 

In this post I will be sharing 10 Relationship Hacks 

Happy reading.

In your relationship here is my number 1.

1. Don't compare. It is important for couples or couples to be not to compare their partner to someone else. It hurts a lot.

2. Don’t go to bed angry. It always amazes me how something minor can turn into something big! We don’t argue about the important things, but we sure can get steamed up over the small stuff. These disagreements can go downhill when we we’re tired or hungry. Early in our marriage we created a tradition where we talk and discuss anything that could be bothering us. It gave us time to stay up into the wee hours trashing something out until we find our way through it. Then we make up, apologize and go to sleep.

This may look difficult if you find it difficult to forgive and let go of little things. But with the help of God you can change gradually.

You need to get to a point where you forgive your partner ahead. I call it forgive in advance. That is the easy way to go to bed without hurts. Because if you don't forgive or make excuses for your partner in advance you may not be able to forgive truely when they apprologize. 

3. Don’t give up on the important things. Most frequently, couples argue about one or more of these —food, kids, money, sex, in-laws and housework. On many occasion my hubby and I  often disagreed, but when it is something that matters to us we keep discussing it till we find a good ground. It may take days or weeks but we keep going back to that issue.  When we had a disagreement, we didn’t give up on each other. It might take us weeks to find a compromise but we persisted.

4. Don't ever try to change him or her. Everyone had a different background, likes and dislikes. Accept them for who they are. Never go into relationship with the mind of changing him or her. Its only God that has that ability. Love them for who they are.

5. Don’t take offense. Do not take offence. And if you do, be quick to forgive. Just because your partner does something that’s insensitive, thoughtless or selfish, it’s not necessary to take offense. We can, but we don’t have to. Most of the time, we do things that upset our loved one without the intent to hurt or frustrate them. Cut each other some slack! And always work together as a team. Remember to forgive in Advance. 

6. Don't Allow Third Party

Your marriage is for you and your spouse. Do not allow in-law, friends to influence your discission. Be close to your spouse and be open to each other instead of letting someone else give you wrong advice.

The easy way to not allowing third party is to have strong bond and communicate often. When you tell each other things as it happens it will be quite difficult for anyone come in between.

7. Don’t take your partner for granted. Over the course of your relationship, there are months at a time when family or work demand our complete time and attention. During those periods still try to create time for each other. During those times, when you feel neglected, don’t get angry at your loved one. Instead, let them know how much you miss them. When you speak it makes things easier. Than when you just keep it to yourself.

8. Do celebrate the important stuff. It is important to celebrate each other as often as possible. What’s important in your relationship? For me, it was our family (we both loved having kids), our love, and our shared sense of purpose and meaning. Celebrate your love, your birthday, anniversary. Surprise each other even when there isn't a special event after all everyday is special and you only get to see it once. Send her gifts even when it isn't her birthday. Visit her at work. Give her money for shopping unexpectedly. Buy him gifts. celebrate every wins, surprise him with a call or a message to affirm your love or reassure him that you are proud of him. Make his best meals. And try not to forget his or her special dates.

9. Do accept your partner for who she is. Love your partner for who they are, not for who you think they could become. That doesn’t mean that you have to like everything about them! 

I am sure you have the phrase "Opposites attract" and then spend the next 20 years trying to make their partner into a mirror image of themselves. Your loved one can change their behavior, with much difficulty, if they want to change. But we can’t change our basic personality.

10. Communication is key. Call each other as often and possible. Speak, talk and have fun.

Couples that chat, talk through out the day won't mostly have martial issues.

I would love to hear form you.

Kindly leave a comment below if this was helpful.

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Thank you.

Connect with me via email

blackbeauty_z25@hotmail.com 

GETTING YOUR BRAIN TO THINK IN NEW CREATIVE WAYS

 GETTING YOUR BRAIN TO THINK IN NEW CREATIVE WAYS

1.  Engage in Observation Sessions. 

I'm telling you the truth, the world is already too too noisy and yet alot of human beings are also noisy internally! They are not in synch with their instinct, their soul and spirit... 

See, let me say this, great ideas won't happen in a vacuum. 

You need some way of getting your brain to think in new and creative ways. 

Commit time to specific sessions where you stimulate your brain into thinking differently. 

I love to call it "me time" Have a time where you lock the world out and think.

A simple walk through my estate can introduce me to exciting activity and behavior that makes me think anew. 

Any crowded urban area or  mall can do the same.

Also, I read a lot and I read  ANYTHING!!!! so far it is not junks.

I learn a lot from.

 Just looking at people!!! Sighs

My question to you is, do you ever take time to slow down and observe?

Do you have an observation strategy?

2. Read More Books

I can tell you this for free, books are wonderful for creating new thoughts and stimulating great ideas. 

I started reading self help books very very early in life . When I added business books to my routine, it helped me learn more and expand my way of thinking. And several years ago, I started  reading biographies and histories. These stories really got me out of my daily headspace and activated my idea generator. 

See, even if you can't make the time for a book, go hunt down a bookstore and spend an hour browsing. You'll find plenty of thought stimulation.

When you read books constantly your thinking partner will change drastically.

The way people title their books, triggers ideas in me!!!! Just go to a bookstore, check 100 book titles.. If you do it mindfully, you'll get ideas.

I sometimes get lost in book shops, looking at books and their table of content.

3. Socialize Outside Your Normal Circles

Hanging around with the same friends and colleagues can get you in a thinking rut. (as in, mental 'stagnation') for example, you're a banker and everyone in your circle are bankers, you're not mixing INTENTIONALLY with other people with different professional background... Trust me, you'll think your father's farm is the Biggest. Intentionally go out with new crowd. If you are constantly with a group change for a while. Your thinking will change. Show me your friend i will show who you are.

Your group of friends has a lot to do with what you can achieve in life. If you are among successful people your chances of becoming successful is high and vise is the case.

Do an assessment this weekend, check the mix of the people in your network. 

Pls take advantage of all those LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram connections and start some exciting conversations. 

You see ba, new people don't know all your thought patterns and old stories, so you'll have to revisit your existing inner monologues. Meanwhile you all need to read this book by Malcom Gladwell: TALKING TO STRANGERS. 

The refreshing perspectives from people of different professional background from yours will help to surface new thinking and possibly a lightning bolt or two.

Am I making sense?

I would love to hear what you think in the comment below.

Thanks for reading.

Connect with me via email

blackbeauty_z25@hotmail.com 

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This is one out of many who have made name and fame through MLM.

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Be Good No Matter What

Let me share a friends experience with you. I learnt a lot form this.

While I was admitted some months back at the hospital, something happened and it thought me a valuable lesson I was going to hold onto for a long time.

This woman who nursed her sick husband whose bed was just opposite mine, walked up to me.

She told me she had brought no cups along with her and she needed a cup she could use to bath her husband when he finally wakes up from sleep. She asked if I had any cup available to give her.

I told her I had brought none. The one I brought had been taken home. I do not use cups to pour water on my body. I used my hands. But she could make use of the cup on my water flask if she chose to. 

She asked if I was okay with it, and I told her it was fine.

"Just use it. The flask has another cover on it. Use it." I smiled so she doesn't feel somehow about it.

She thanked me and left with the cup. Soon when her husband was awake, she walked him to the bathroom to have his bath, using the flask cup as a fetcher.

Moment later, when her husband was fast asleep again, she returned to me and asked if I had hot water in my flask. She told me they had no flask and her doctors said her husband will have to be drinking warm water always since he had just undergone a surgery.

I told her there was hot water in the flask and I stretched my hands, picked it, and handed it over to her.

I watched as she made tea for herself using the water from my flask, and drank the tea from the flask cup. When her husband was awake, she made him tea in the same cup and handed over to him to drink.

During that period, the flask was always with her and I didn't even bother to ask for it. I noticed her sick husband needed the hot water more than I did. As for me, I was already recovering fast and was just waiting to be discharged.

The day I was to be discharged, I went to the bathroom to take my bath. But then I thought of using the flask cover for the first time. I returned and asked the woman if I could use the flask cover to have my bath. This time, the husband was now awake and staring at me with his eyes wide open.

She told me to pick the cover. 

While I turned to leave, her husband called me back.

"What do you want to use the cover for?"

I told him I wanted to use it to have my bath.

"Drop it please." He pointed angrily to the table.

He turned to his wife and scolded her.

"Why will you give him our flask cover to go and bath with? Why? I don't like this attitude of yours please. How will you share my cover with someone I do not know? Do you know the sickness he came with to the hospital?"

I dropped the flask cover on the table without saying a word, and walked to the bathroom. When I was done having my bath, I returned back to my bed and the wife brought the flask back to me. She thanked me for borrowing her the flask.

"At a point I forgot I had even borrowed the flask from you. Thank you so much. Please don't be angry."

I smiled and collected the flask from her. Before she left, she apologised again for her husbands rude behaviour towards me. I told her it was okay and I wasn't feeling bad about it.

When I asked if she had a flask for her husband's tea and hot water, she told me she didn't. But she planned buying one when money comes in.

I handed the flask back to her and told her to keep it. 

"Use it for his water. I will buy a new one when I get home."

She was so excited. She thanked me severally, before turning to leave. The husband who laid on the bed, waved and smiled at me.

"Thank you. God bless you. Thank you very much." He smiled excitedly.

I left that hospital with a lesson.

Sometimes we offer help to people who wouldn't do same for us in return if we were in there shoes. We make sacrifices for people who wouldn't think of making such sacrifices for us too. 

I have found myself doing things for people who denied me same favour when I needed it most. But that didn't stop me from being good and rendering help when they need it. It shouldn't stop you either. 

Don't stop doing the right thing just because they don't do same for you. A good act will always speak for you. It may not come through them, but it will definitely come through someone else.